Being New

Being New

When your  new, everything is a bit foggy and overly serious.
When you walk in a room it's a blur of people. You smile and make small talk but try to go about your business feeling as though your being watched the whole time.
When your new it's hard to laugh easily. Conversation feels forced and when you leave you feel tired.
When your new and you do something clumsy, it's not funny like when you are among old friends.
Embarrassing is just plain embarrassing and nothing else to it. It's similar to being in grade school and  tripping down the stairs or falling our of your chair. People snicker at you , but not with you.
Sometime though, after you've been new for awhile, all of a sudden you realize you aren't.
The faces of the people are clearer. Their smiles are easy, and so is yours.  You have a spot to sit and are familiar enough to speak , even when no one is speaking to you.  Your personality begins to seep out, on it's own.
Your shoulders are relaxed because if you do something embarrassing, it will actually be funny.

I am writing this after about 6 weeks of attending Jazzercise.  Today I realized I wasn't new anymore, and it felt really great.

The Art of Keeping Your Friendships Alive

The Art of Keeping Your Friendships Alive

I just found this article I had written for our local paper when I lived on Padre Island. I still think it holds true but need to revise to fit our Austin life.  I sure miss all our peeps down on the Coast!

Timeless sayings; “When things calm down, let’s do lunch” or “We are so busy, we don’t have time for anything!”

We have time for whatever we want to have time for. Those lunches with friends or family barbeques we talk up with one another, don’t happen as much as we all would like or need. Communication, support and plain old friendship in the everyday are lacking in our hustle bustle lives. How do we make this work with different schedules and family routines? I think the answer lies in adding the people you really want around you, into your daily life. Figuring out how to do life with them.

This is natural and easy with family members. I don’t worry about my guest bathroom (or in my case the kid/guest bathroom) when my sister stops by. But, my sister doesn’t stop by, because she doesn’t live here. The anxiety over a clean house and perfect appetizers make including other people in our lives a bit tricky.

Because many of us out here on the island live away from close relatives, the need for friendship is vital to our wellbeing. Wouldn’t it be nice to know that on Wednesdays your favorite friends were coming over with food, no matter what? Or, that Fridays are always cookout nights with neighbors. Once we get over “My house needs to look a certain way and my schedule needs to be totally cleared in order to have guests for dinner”, life will get a lot more fun.

Don’t let the carpool line be the only time you see your friends! Embrace sharing a meal with another family. Let the kids destroy the bedrooms while the adults laugh. When all is said and done, the reprieve each person receives from relaxing and being with others is priceless.

Life on the island lends itself to sharing life with one another because we are all a hop, skip and maybe a bike ride away from one another. Therefore, don’t get stuck every night within the walls of your house in front of your television. Eat together, share; let others into your every day.

More than a Guys Fishing Trip or a Girls Shopping Weekend, it would be therapeutic for us all to witness other peoples’ messy kitchens and unsparkly bathrooms and share a meal. Instead of saying, “It’s been so crazy; when everything settles down we need to catch up.” How about, “Life is sure crazy, can’t wait to see you Tuesday and hang out with your family!”

Keep on Keeping on, the Beauty is in the Simple Every Day…

Sunny C. Reed

Answer the Phone!

“Mom! Meggie is calling you!” I am hastily re-organizing the kids bedroom when my eight yr old runs in and shoves the phone in my hand. I can answer or wait until later and call her back. “She's your sister, answer the phone!” shouts one voice in my head. The other voice says “ Call her back when you actually have time to listen.” I know full well choosing B does not promise Meg an actual call back tonight, maybe a text, maybe. The phone continues playing the song that tells me it's Meggie.

“If I answer this room will not be organized before bedtime and the kids will have no idea where their underwear are in the morning and.... oh never mind, Hey Meg!” I hear small sniffles from the other end and a strained voice says “ Can I come visit you?” Whew! I almost blew that one. For whatever reason it was me who my littlest sister needed at this moment. Had I not answered, she may have called someone else, but I was the one she wanted comfort from.

Meggie was feeling horribly lonely. Married only a year her husband was working long hours, days and nights as a firefighter to help them get ahead. Of course I said yes, and a few days later I had 3 days with my little sister along side me while I did Mom stuff. She made me laugh and helped homework/dinner times go much more smoothly.

I am honored to be the biggest sister to my two younger sisters. Meggie is 12 years younger than me and Whitney 4. I have a special bond with both. The older I get the more serious I take my job as oldest sis. If I didn't they would likely find other people to fill in but no one can be their big sis exactly like I can. It's not about being in charge of them, like when we were little and Mom and Dad went on Date Nights. Or about giving them rides, or protecting them from mean girls. My role now is more about cherishing them. I can encourage, listen, and dote on. Our mother can do all these and my sisters lack nothing in the way of a nourishing supporting mother. However, when they are sad and want to cry with someone ,or lonely and seek companionship I delight in giving them these things.

 fun picnic in Corpus

 Meg's Wedding

 Lovely Whitney, not so lovely me

 Mom's Carnival Party

Making biscuits with Mama and girls at Meg's new house.  

I am sort of jealous of Whitney, the middle sis, because she is able to be both little sister and big sister. I have no idea what it would be like to have an older sister, but something tells me I was not cut out for that as the whole having someone boss me around sounds horrible. My little sisters take my bossing with gracious smiles and now and then they will narrow their eyes or even roll them. Now that I am thirty six I have learned that those eyes mean I had better stop or they are going to stop letting me be in charge. As we have gotten older I certainly am not actually in charge when we are together, all the time. During my parents recent divorce, Whitney took the lead on hard confrontations and was also the leader in peace making get- togethers. Meggie is our gal when it's time to plan an event. She makes any gathering a wild fun party complete with decorations and activities that are actually fun. She also is a hoot so one is never left feeling dry or prudish after being with her as she will make your stomach ache from laughing which is the best medicine for feeling dried up. That said, both girls make me feel as though they need me and want me close. I am not as sweet or funny or creative as either one of them, but I am their big sister and when they call I hope I always answer.   

Strangers in Church

Something I'm enjoying about going to a new big church is getting to sit inches from strangers. Lucky for me so far everyone has been of good hygiene and has a concept of personal space. It's fun to try and get a feel for a person just sitting by them. I desperately want to give each person a good stare in the face but this might take away from the fun. While sitting by them I can smell their cologne , get a good look at their shoes and most of the time hear their voice during worship. I really love it when the stranger sings their heart out. I always want to say “ thank you for letting me in on that !” There is no other place I know of where people stand and worship their creator amongst strangers. I can learn a lot from the stranger's shoes, smell, and voice . Sometimes women dig around in their purses and this is also very enlightening. I never look in the purse but the general size of purse and time it takes them to find what they need give me a lot to go on. If a stranger is alone and I am alone, there is a strong sense of their presence and mine I think.

Today I sat by a very small lady with a cast on one foot. She wore socks and clogs on the other foot. I am very drawn to women who where socks and clogs. It's like they are saying to the world. “Yeah, I know boots are in style but I don't care I want to be warm and comfortable!” I admire it. So this tiny lady wore jeans and a sweater , she had very curly hair and glasses. What I wasn't expecting was the huge fantastic voice that came out of her. It was amazing. For several songs I just shut my eyes and listened. When the message began she quick pulled out a kindle which had her bible on it and even took notes on it. No frills,no extra notebooks or pens. She had it put away and her coat on and her simple but classy leather purse on her shoulder before the last song was over. I was still fumbling with my coat , trying to put away my pen and keep by purse from falling off my arm during the last song. When the service was over I had to tell her how much I enjoyed her singing. She looked at me humbly and said “Oh thanks.” She had an angelic face. It was fun to have attributed all these great characteristics toward her before even knowing she was beautiful in the face, she was already beautiful to me.  

Christmas Memory

Remembering some of my favorite Christmas memories this morning.  I only have to think back to last year, to have a good laugh.  
Mariah and I took our kids, ( her two, my three ) to  the Art Museum in Corpus Christi to walk through the Christmas Around the World exhibit.  I was reluctant, as sometimes I would rather pull nose hairs out than drag my kids through crowds all the while just dying to get to the end because the event is free and way to chaotic for my taste.  I said yes, this time though, and I'm so glad I did.

It was rainy and cold and we had to walk a long way to get from the car to the museum itself. At first I started to get a little grouchy about getting wet and having wet kids and then I looked ahead and saw our two daughters arm in arm ( BFFs) laughing their heads off as they rain through the rain and dodged puddles.  I realized  this could be fun, or it could be miserable. Mariah would always choose fun, and this is why I love her.  
Once inside the exhibit was surprisingly fantastic.  Each tree was decorated by a specific school in the area and represented a specific country.  There was a lovely, intelligent, impeccably put together lady at each tree that explained that country's Christmas traditions with wonderful animation.  Upon leaving I noticed the event was sponsored by the Jr. League and that explained the women!  
Mariah and I knew this was most likely our last Christmas to live in the same city.  This made the outing more memorable and we did everything possible to make the most of it , both for us and the kids.  We sat on Santa's lap and let the kids take our picture, and then before leaving the museum let the kids giggle at some of the more provocative art hanging around.  We sat on a bench away from them and laughed as we observed parents giving our kids disapproving glances.  Our kids weren't exactly shy about what they thought about the art. My oldest said rather loudly, " People pay to look at this?, Why don't they just look in the mirror after a shower, that's free!"  Over on the bench , Maria and I wondered out loud, " Whose kids are those?"  
We also paraded all the kids through a very small  coffee shop in the museum, because, the Mamas wanted/needed wanted coffee.  What would usually be a very frustrating experience became hilarious. The kids asked for every single treat in sight and then when we said "NO" we found all five of them gathered around the sugar/cream stand pouring sugar packets in their mouth while impatient grownups waited behind them to doctor their coffee.  
This year I am several hundred miles away from Mariah and I miss her companionship during this busy sometimes hectic time of year.  An outing like the one described is a great memory.  I'm so glad it was rainy, that we we let the kids be kids and that we chose fun over frustration.  

"It is when we stop actively loving Him, that we find ourselves restless and gravitating toward other means of fulfillment."  - Fancis Chan,   Crazy Love.

It is easy for me to say I love Jesus.  I feel honest when I say " His is my everything."  I have grown up on the principal that He is everything and without Him everything else is meaningless.  So, I know this. Just like my tween daughter would say with confidence that her dad and I love her,  but in a split second one might also hear her telling her best friend that we are ruining her life.  What she knows in her heart doesn't always come out in her actions. What I know in my heart about Jesus isn't actively lived out either.  My humanity seeks fulfilment from outside sources, ALL THE TIME.  I want  friends who like me and make me feel good about myself, a clean car, a cup of coffee, a hot bath, a few minutes alone, great highlights, a little shopping trip, white teeth, a clean diet, a piece of dark chocolate, a girls' night, a quick nap, a long walk, a manicure, a new shirt, a compliment from my husband, a few pita chips, a new pair of tennis shoes, a glass of wine and on and on and on.  Not one of these things are bad in and of themselves. But so much of the time I seek them out before I seek out Jesus.  If I believe He is the bread of life, the giver of all good things, the Prince of peace, why do I let my humanity win 99% of the time?  Not one of those things can touch what Jesus can and wants to give me.

That being said I committed on Monday morning to let Him and Him alone fill me up this week.   To just see what happens when I go to Him only to satisfy.  I was doing a pretty good job but just as Francis Chan said, as soon as I stopped actively pursing Him, I wanted something.  I was not surprised when my husband ask me Tues morning if I wanted to fast.  We needed God's wisdom on a few issues and this is my husbands' regular practice when He really needs to hear God.  I, on the other hand do not regularly practice anything as awful as not eating.  I don't regularly practice anything that I don't enjoy.  I knew this was Gods' way of showing me how He really could give me all I need and more.
Well, it's 2:30 Tuesday afternoon and I have one answer and would really like about three more.  Mostly though, I am clear headed.  I feel God's presence much stronger than normal, especially when my stomach rumbles.  I don't expect any big miracles from today, but I feel great knowing I'm obeying God.  My heart is at peace which as any overly self reflective person knows is quite miraculous.  It is freeing to know that all I need I already have.  Lunch and coffee sound good but I know after I consumed them I would be right back to wanting something else in a matter of hours maybe minutes.  No more , more. Today He is it.  He is freeing me.

running uphill

I went jogging with my husband yesterday.  As I sit here, my feet hurt and my back is sore. The run was not fun at the time and my attitude was not up to par.  I really wanted to be with Kirby and we have enjoyed exercising together as of late.  Normally I exercise alone.  My head clears and I do almost the same thing every day.  Knowing that your routine should be shook up time to time , I began asking my husband to jog with me on some days knowing nothing would be normal about my routine when I was with him.  Several times he has surprised me and wanted to jog my normal route. However, he likes to talk while we jog and give helpful advice about the science of say running uphill verses downhill.  I won't give much verbage  to that except to say, that I do not prefer to have to think about science while I'm running up a steep hill and I certainly don't want to talk back.

Back to yesterday.  Kirby decided we should run to the green belt, then through it and back to our house.  I was excited about running on a trail rather than cement and the first half hour was great.  After around 30min I realized he didn't really know where we were. . Mind you, we are new to our neighborhood.  At one point after already jogging for 30 or so minutes ( usually my limit) there was a HUGE hill we had to go up.  I  knew he would want to jog up it.  I dislike being weak more than I dislike running up monster hills.  I lumbered behind him praying we were close to our house.  We popped out on a main road with no sidewalk. Now we had to jog on a median with thick grass on a slight hill.  I was done.  I hated how the grass felt under my shoes, I hated the cars passing by and the lack of shade on this particular road. Finally, I said " I don't feel like even picking up my feet!"  My husband continued to wait patiently for me, encouraging me , talking about how fun it was to both explore a new place and exercise at the the same time. " That's the problem."  I said.  " I don't like to do two things at once!"  Mostly I could tell I was having such a bad attitude because I didn't have a clear picture of what was next.  Would there be another hill or two?  Is the sidewalk going to appear or am I going to be jogging on this lumpy median for ever?

As we crested the second big hill I told my husband.  " You are enjoying this because by nature you  love adventure and enjoy a challenge.  By nature I am fearful and enjoy doing things I am already good at. " After I said it, the weight and reality of what I had said hit me.  It's true.  I feel I am hardwired this way and sometimes I don't like myself for this reason.  But, instead of wallowing in the fact that for some reason God made me reluctant to try new things, I focused on how lucky I am to have a partner who isn't !  Later in the day I thought back to Kirby coaching me up the hill.  I shouted things like " this is the reason you don't see me doing exercise videos, I HATE to be told what to do!"  I admit I would not have jogged the hills, I would have walked them instead and given myself an excuse for it.  Now looking back , I'm glad I did it and did not wimp out.
I am happy to have him in my life to push me,I hope in some other way I push him.