Being New

Being New

When your  new, everything is a bit foggy and overly serious.
When you walk in a room it's a blur of people. You smile and make small talk but try to go about your business feeling as though your being watched the whole time.
When your new it's hard to laugh easily. Conversation feels forced and when you leave you feel tired.
When your new and you do something clumsy, it's not funny like when you are among old friends.
Embarrassing is just plain embarrassing and nothing else to it. It's similar to being in grade school and  tripping down the stairs or falling our of your chair. People snicker at you , but not with you.
Sometime though, after you've been new for awhile, all of a sudden you realize you aren't.
The faces of the people are clearer. Their smiles are easy, and so is yours.  You have a spot to sit and are familiar enough to speak , even when no one is speaking to you.  Your personality begins to seep out, on it's own.
Your shoulders are relaxed because if you do something embarrassing, it will actually be funny.

I am writing this after about 6 weeks of attending Jazzercise.  Today I realized I wasn't new anymore, and it felt really great.