Answer the Phone!

“Mom! Meggie is calling you!” I am hastily re-organizing the kids bedroom when my eight yr old runs in and shoves the phone in my hand. I can answer or wait until later and call her back. “She's your sister, answer the phone!” shouts one voice in my head. The other voice says “ Call her back when you actually have time to listen.” I know full well choosing B does not promise Meg an actual call back tonight, maybe a text, maybe. The phone continues playing the song that tells me it's Meggie.

“If I answer this room will not be organized before bedtime and the kids will have no idea where their underwear are in the morning and.... oh never mind, Hey Meg!” I hear small sniffles from the other end and a strained voice says “ Can I come visit you?” Whew! I almost blew that one. For whatever reason it was me who my littlest sister needed at this moment. Had I not answered, she may have called someone else, but I was the one she wanted comfort from.

Meggie was feeling horribly lonely. Married only a year her husband was working long hours, days and nights as a firefighter to help them get ahead. Of course I said yes, and a few days later I had 3 days with my little sister along side me while I did Mom stuff. She made me laugh and helped homework/dinner times go much more smoothly.

I am honored to be the biggest sister to my two younger sisters. Meggie is 12 years younger than me and Whitney 4. I have a special bond with both. The older I get the more serious I take my job as oldest sis. If I didn't they would likely find other people to fill in but no one can be their big sis exactly like I can. It's not about being in charge of them, like when we were little and Mom and Dad went on Date Nights. Or about giving them rides, or protecting them from mean girls. My role now is more about cherishing them. I can encourage, listen, and dote on. Our mother can do all these and my sisters lack nothing in the way of a nourishing supporting mother. However, when they are sad and want to cry with someone ,or lonely and seek companionship I delight in giving them these things.

 fun picnic in Corpus

 Meg's Wedding

 Lovely Whitney, not so lovely me

 Mom's Carnival Party

Making biscuits with Mama and girls at Meg's new house.  

I am sort of jealous of Whitney, the middle sis, because she is able to be both little sister and big sister. I have no idea what it would be like to have an older sister, but something tells me I was not cut out for that as the whole having someone boss me around sounds horrible. My little sisters take my bossing with gracious smiles and now and then they will narrow their eyes or even roll them. Now that I am thirty six I have learned that those eyes mean I had better stop or they are going to stop letting me be in charge. As we have gotten older I certainly am not actually in charge when we are together, all the time. During my parents recent divorce, Whitney took the lead on hard confrontations and was also the leader in peace making get- togethers. Meggie is our gal when it's time to plan an event. She makes any gathering a wild fun party complete with decorations and activities that are actually fun. She also is a hoot so one is never left feeling dry or prudish after being with her as she will make your stomach ache from laughing which is the best medicine for feeling dried up. That said, both girls make me feel as though they need me and want me close. I am not as sweet or funny or creative as either one of them, but I am their big sister and when they call I hope I always answer.   

Strangers in Church

Something I'm enjoying about going to a new big church is getting to sit inches from strangers. Lucky for me so far everyone has been of good hygiene and has a concept of personal space. It's fun to try and get a feel for a person just sitting by them. I desperately want to give each person a good stare in the face but this might take away from the fun. While sitting by them I can smell their cologne , get a good look at their shoes and most of the time hear their voice during worship. I really love it when the stranger sings their heart out. I always want to say “ thank you for letting me in on that !” There is no other place I know of where people stand and worship their creator amongst strangers. I can learn a lot from the stranger's shoes, smell, and voice . Sometimes women dig around in their purses and this is also very enlightening. I never look in the purse but the general size of purse and time it takes them to find what they need give me a lot to go on. If a stranger is alone and I am alone, there is a strong sense of their presence and mine I think.

Today I sat by a very small lady with a cast on one foot. She wore socks and clogs on the other foot. I am very drawn to women who where socks and clogs. It's like they are saying to the world. “Yeah, I know boots are in style but I don't care I want to be warm and comfortable!” I admire it. So this tiny lady wore jeans and a sweater , she had very curly hair and glasses. What I wasn't expecting was the huge fantastic voice that came out of her. It was amazing. For several songs I just shut my eyes and listened. When the message began she quick pulled out a kindle which had her bible on it and even took notes on it. No frills,no extra notebooks or pens. She had it put away and her coat on and her simple but classy leather purse on her shoulder before the last song was over. I was still fumbling with my coat , trying to put away my pen and keep by purse from falling off my arm during the last song. When the service was over I had to tell her how much I enjoyed her singing. She looked at me humbly and said “Oh thanks.” She had an angelic face. It was fun to have attributed all these great characteristics toward her before even knowing she was beautiful in the face, she was already beautiful to me.  

Christmas Memory

Remembering some of my favorite Christmas memories this morning.  I only have to think back to last year, to have a good laugh.  
Mariah and I took our kids, ( her two, my three ) to  the Art Museum in Corpus Christi to walk through the Christmas Around the World exhibit.  I was reluctant, as sometimes I would rather pull nose hairs out than drag my kids through crowds all the while just dying to get to the end because the event is free and way to chaotic for my taste.  I said yes, this time though, and I'm so glad I did.

It was rainy and cold and we had to walk a long way to get from the car to the museum itself. At first I started to get a little grouchy about getting wet and having wet kids and then I looked ahead and saw our two daughters arm in arm ( BFFs) laughing their heads off as they rain through the rain and dodged puddles.  I realized  this could be fun, or it could be miserable. Mariah would always choose fun, and this is why I love her.  
Once inside the exhibit was surprisingly fantastic.  Each tree was decorated by a specific school in the area and represented a specific country.  There was a lovely, intelligent, impeccably put together lady at each tree that explained that country's Christmas traditions with wonderful animation.  Upon leaving I noticed the event was sponsored by the Jr. League and that explained the women!  
Mariah and I knew this was most likely our last Christmas to live in the same city.  This made the outing more memorable and we did everything possible to make the most of it , both for us and the kids.  We sat on Santa's lap and let the kids take our picture, and then before leaving the museum let the kids giggle at some of the more provocative art hanging around.  We sat on a bench away from them and laughed as we observed parents giving our kids disapproving glances.  Our kids weren't exactly shy about what they thought about the art. My oldest said rather loudly, " People pay to look at this?, Why don't they just look in the mirror after a shower, that's free!"  Over on the bench , Maria and I wondered out loud, " Whose kids are those?"  
We also paraded all the kids through a very small  coffee shop in the museum, because, the Mamas wanted/needed wanted coffee.  What would usually be a very frustrating experience became hilarious. The kids asked for every single treat in sight and then when we said "NO" we found all five of them gathered around the sugar/cream stand pouring sugar packets in their mouth while impatient grownups waited behind them to doctor their coffee.  
This year I am several hundred miles away from Mariah and I miss her companionship during this busy sometimes hectic time of year.  An outing like the one described is a great memory.  I'm so glad it was rainy, that we we let the kids be kids and that we chose fun over frustration.  

"It is when we stop actively loving Him, that we find ourselves restless and gravitating toward other means of fulfillment."  - Fancis Chan,   Crazy Love.

It is easy for me to say I love Jesus.  I feel honest when I say " His is my everything."  I have grown up on the principal that He is everything and without Him everything else is meaningless.  So, I know this. Just like my tween daughter would say with confidence that her dad and I love her,  but in a split second one might also hear her telling her best friend that we are ruining her life.  What she knows in her heart doesn't always come out in her actions. What I know in my heart about Jesus isn't actively lived out either.  My humanity seeks fulfilment from outside sources, ALL THE TIME.  I want  friends who like me and make me feel good about myself, a clean car, a cup of coffee, a hot bath, a few minutes alone, great highlights, a little shopping trip, white teeth, a clean diet, a piece of dark chocolate, a girls' night, a quick nap, a long walk, a manicure, a new shirt, a compliment from my husband, a few pita chips, a new pair of tennis shoes, a glass of wine and on and on and on.  Not one of these things are bad in and of themselves. But so much of the time I seek them out before I seek out Jesus.  If I believe He is the bread of life, the giver of all good things, the Prince of peace, why do I let my humanity win 99% of the time?  Not one of those things can touch what Jesus can and wants to give me.

That being said I committed on Monday morning to let Him and Him alone fill me up this week.   To just see what happens when I go to Him only to satisfy.  I was doing a pretty good job but just as Francis Chan said, as soon as I stopped actively pursing Him, I wanted something.  I was not surprised when my husband ask me Tues morning if I wanted to fast.  We needed God's wisdom on a few issues and this is my husbands' regular practice when He really needs to hear God.  I, on the other hand do not regularly practice anything as awful as not eating.  I don't regularly practice anything that I don't enjoy.  I knew this was Gods' way of showing me how He really could give me all I need and more.
Well, it's 2:30 Tuesday afternoon and I have one answer and would really like about three more.  Mostly though, I am clear headed.  I feel God's presence much stronger than normal, especially when my stomach rumbles.  I don't expect any big miracles from today, but I feel great knowing I'm obeying God.  My heart is at peace which as any overly self reflective person knows is quite miraculous.  It is freeing to know that all I need I already have.  Lunch and coffee sound good but I know after I consumed them I would be right back to wanting something else in a matter of hours maybe minutes.  No more , more. Today He is it.  He is freeing me.

running uphill

I went jogging with my husband yesterday.  As I sit here, my feet hurt and my back is sore. The run was not fun at the time and my attitude was not up to par.  I really wanted to be with Kirby and we have enjoyed exercising together as of late.  Normally I exercise alone.  My head clears and I do almost the same thing every day.  Knowing that your routine should be shook up time to time , I began asking my husband to jog with me on some days knowing nothing would be normal about my routine when I was with him.  Several times he has surprised me and wanted to jog my normal route. However, he likes to talk while we jog and give helpful advice about the science of say running uphill verses downhill.  I won't give much verbage  to that except to say, that I do not prefer to have to think about science while I'm running up a steep hill and I certainly don't want to talk back.

Back to yesterday.  Kirby decided we should run to the green belt, then through it and back to our house.  I was excited about running on a trail rather than cement and the first half hour was great.  After around 30min I realized he didn't really know where we were. . Mind you, we are new to our neighborhood.  At one point after already jogging for 30 or so minutes ( usually my limit) there was a HUGE hill we had to go up.  I  knew he would want to jog up it.  I dislike being weak more than I dislike running up monster hills.  I lumbered behind him praying we were close to our house.  We popped out on a main road with no sidewalk. Now we had to jog on a median with thick grass on a slight hill.  I was done.  I hated how the grass felt under my shoes, I hated the cars passing by and the lack of shade on this particular road. Finally, I said " I don't feel like even picking up my feet!"  My husband continued to wait patiently for me, encouraging me , talking about how fun it was to both explore a new place and exercise at the the same time. " That's the problem."  I said.  " I don't like to do two things at once!"  Mostly I could tell I was having such a bad attitude because I didn't have a clear picture of what was next.  Would there be another hill or two?  Is the sidewalk going to appear or am I going to be jogging on this lumpy median for ever?

As we crested the second big hill I told my husband.  " You are enjoying this because by nature you  love adventure and enjoy a challenge.  By nature I am fearful and enjoy doing things I am already good at. " After I said it, the weight and reality of what I had said hit me.  It's true.  I feel I am hardwired this way and sometimes I don't like myself for this reason.  But, instead of wallowing in the fact that for some reason God made me reluctant to try new things, I focused on how lucky I am to have a partner who isn't !  Later in the day I thought back to Kirby coaching me up the hill.  I shouted things like " this is the reason you don't see me doing exercise videos, I HATE to be told what to do!"  I admit I would not have jogged the hills, I would have walked them instead and given myself an excuse for it.  Now looking back , I'm glad I did it and did not wimp out.
I am happy to have him in my life to push me,I hope in some other way I push him.

The REED Way

Every family has their way of doing life.  I love it when I learn something from another family.  My good friend Daphne says our family "has a culture all it's own".  She says this with a big ol smile so I know it's a compliment.  I also know at times we can be "THAT NEIGHBOR." Like when we had a pet pig that walked out to the bus stop and kinda scared all the kids, because he was a baby wild hog. 
That said, I thought it would be fun to do a few post about our family and the way we do things.

Our Little Blue Car

We are all about not spending money we don't have to. So buying used cars from private sellers is our way to go.  We have saved thousands upon thousands sticking with this philosophy and making sure our cars are not gas guzzlers.   Right now we kinda share a small blue hatchback and our truck has basically sat in the driveway since we moved from the beach to Austin.

 I will admit sometimes in the carpool line or at a school function I notice how we look different.  A family of five piling out of a little car just isn't the normal.  The kids are oblivious.  Yes, they are sitting pretty close together, but they do fine and when they fight about touching one another I remember back to when we had a minivan and they would lean half way across the van to poke each other. This car just makes it more convenient.

 The other fun thing we do in our little blue car is rarely use the AC.  At first, I was not an advocate of this. But now because there is an obnoxious rattle when the AC is turned on, I have crossed over to the kids' and Daddy's way.  The FUN WAY they call it. Like dogs, they let the breeze take over and relish the wind in their hair.

 The most funny part about driving this car is when we have other kids with us.  Whenever the kids friends' see that we are driving the blue car they squeal  "Yay!  I love the blue car. It's soooo fun!"  They love their hair blowing around and the feel of the wind too.

 "Aren't they hot?" you may be thinking. Not unless you ask them if they are.    I realize the blowing around of the hair might not be so fun when they are teenagers but I think we will have established that a car doesn't have to have a DVD player or tons of room, to be a fun car.   I am hoping this among other practices we Reeds hold true to, will help my kids be low maintenance and enjoy life without having to make their environment a certain kind of comfy before they can relax in it. 

Next time, I'll share how we keep in shape.  It's not a strict diet or fancy gym membership I promise you that! 

Education Nation

After watching Mit Romney on Education Nation , I feel validated in my efforts between 4-6pm.  I already knew I should be involved in the education of my children however doing homework with three kids and trying not to let it completely take over the evening is a huge task.

 I agree with Mit that it is not the amount of money we give a school but the kind of teachers that teach there and more importantly the amount of parent involvement.  As much as I would prefer some days, ( just because it's so much easier) separating my children's school life with our home life is not possible. Not possible if my husband and I want them to be successful.  I have smart kids. Although, at the ages of 10, 8 and 5 , if I don't put emphasis on home work and studying for test they will naturally do other things.  When I have let things play out on their own and decided to step away from the homework battle, it has involved tutoring (more money), and a child who feels unsuccessful and behind.  All could have been avoided had I had control of the situation and made studying and homework a priority.

 I do believe there is too much homework, I wish it could be different. But, it's not and if I sit on my ideas about just letting them "be kids" when they get home from school, they end up loosing.
Not loosing on every level of course. Feeling like you belong in a family ranks higher than being successful at school.
I once tried Homeschooling for  this very reason, to be done with homework.  It works wonderfully for many.  For me, not so much.  To put it plainly, I like people and being part of my community and honestly I like school.  So, I have decided to put my kids in the best schools I can, and support wholeheartedly the teachers.  Hearing out my kids complaints but not feeding them.  Homework like testing ( which no one likes) is simply part of life. It is the best way the teachers have found to make successful students.  I will do my part at home to partner with them.  This may mean that between the hours of 4-6pm or 7pm and sometimes into the  night is not always fun, but doable.  I will try to be light hearted and fun but stay consistent with routines and stay on top of subjects each child is struggling with.

Going back to Mit.  Several times he was ask " How are you going to change public school?"  He has ideas, but what he kept going back to is parent involvement.  At the end of the day which ever President sits at the White house is not essentially responsible for the education of my child,  I am.  I own that.  Mit encourages America to own their responsibility, and their success.  I support that.